first impressions-Spideypool
by clearlydisturbed
Summary: Peter is on his first date since Gwen and it isnt going so well, that is until a certain merc with a mouth shows up to wreak chaos
1. Chapter 1

"Aunt May, come on. A blind date? People _so_ don't do those anymore." Peter chuckled slightly, brushing off the idea.

"It's not a blind date, you've met her! And shes nice and pretty, and maybe she can get you out of the house for a change," Aunt May retorted, taking the chip bag out of Peter's hand and replacing it with a sandwich.

Peter shoved half the sandwich in his mouth, still staring at his Aunt's hopeful and somewhat insistent face.

"I don't think me asking her where the bathroom is counts as meeting her," he muttered after finishing his meal.

"Well, you seem to have made an impression on her, because she agreed to let me give you her phone number. Although looking at your manners now, I have no idea why," May huffed, handing her nephew a napkin to wipe his face.

"Oh, you didn't! Do I really have a choice in this at all?" Peter whined, grabbing the slip of paper from May's hand. The phone number of the nurse May worked with was scribbled on the paper in bold, slightly smudged, black ink.

"Please, Peter. Just call her."

"Fine," Peter sighed reluctantly, smiling and making his way out the door.

* * *

Peter trudged his way through the crowded New York streets towards the small Italian cafe at which he had chosen to meeting his date. When he called her earlier that day, she'd sounded somewhere between confused and elated. He was almost certain Aunt May didn't tell her why she wanted her number.

As Peter pushed further into the mess of people, he remembered that it was the first time he'd been on a date since Gwen died. He still wasn't ready.

"Hey, Raven?" Peter asked the girl he only vaguely remembered. He knew she had dark hair and dark eyes, but the rest of her features were kind of a fuzzy memory.

"Peter, hi!" Raven exclaimed, jumping up from the bench inside the waiting area of the restaurant. "You look nice." She smiled brightly, flipping up the end of his tie.

_Wow, she's already kind of handsy_, Peter thought. Aloud, he said, "You look nice, too."

"Thanks. Anything other than scrubs and pajamas is basically foreign to me these days," Raven joked.

"So, we should get a table," Peter said, nodding after a moment of awkward silence.

The two walked to the host stand and were immediately sat an eternity away from the door Peter desperately wanted to run out of.

"So, where do you work?" Raven asked sheepishly.

"I do some freelance photography," Peter replied thoughtlessly, picking at his food.

"That sounds interesting. Must be more exciting than being stuck at a hospital all day."

_This is way harder than I thought it would be_, Peter thought. Raven was trying so hard to keep the conversation going-she was nice, too, and smart. _I just can't open up so soon after Gwen. _

Just as Raven finished talking about her trip to Canada, and the table had been silent for a few moments, Peter looked up to see Raven's face go from semi-interested to completely terrified as she stared at something over his shoulder.

"Oh, shit," she breathed.

"Hey, homegirl!" came the loud, obnoxious voice from someone behind Peter. When he turned around, he was met with what seemed to be a man dressed in a shabby attempt at a Spiderman costume.

The man went straight for Raven, almost picking her up out of her seat as he hugged her.

"Wade! What the hell are you doing here?" Raven demanded, squirming away from him and giving Peter an apologetic look.

"Shh! It's Deadpool," the man retorted, gesturing to his black and red mask, which matched with the rest of his spandex suit.

"I'm still not calling you Deadpool. I'm kind of in the middle of something." Raven gestured to Peter, who smiled and gave a small wave.

"Wade" seemed to notice him for the first time.

"Ooooh, Raven's getting laid!" the man chirped childishly. "You look like you've already bored him half to death, Raves." He pulled up a chair next to Peter's, dropping into it gracelessly.

Raven seemed to have already given up, her forehead firmly in her hand as she refused to look up. Peter wondered how many times Wade had done this to her.

"I'm Peter," he finally said, breaking through the silence.

"Nice to meet you, Petey!" Wade exclaimed brightly, grabbing Ravens beer.

"So, what are you, like, Spiderman 2.0?" Peter wasn't sure if he was insulted by his own tone and the Spiderman joke, or if it was Wade's suit that was so insulting.

"Spiderman can suck my d-"

"_Wade!_" Raven gasped, finally pulling her head out of her hands to glare at him, her cheeks flushed red.

"Yes, my dove?" Wade's gaze moved from Peter back to Raven.

"I will give you everything in my wallet to leave now," she pleaded.

"Sorry, sweets. I'm actually here on business." Wade shrugged in a _what can you do? _manner, and terror flickered in Raven's eyes.

"Peter, I had a great time, but it's getting kind of late. We should probably go," Raven said urgently.

"Um, sure. I had a great time. I'll just call you later."

"You can get the check," Raven told Wade cheekily, "and I am _so_ kicking your ass later."

And just as weirdly as the night started, it was finally over, and Peter could go home and relax.

But he couldn't, after answering endless questions from Aunt may he retreated to his room and that's when he saw the news. A man had been killed at the same restaurant he had just been too. The new report said it happened only thirty minutes after Raven abruptly ended their date.

The pieces all added up in seconds. The man who had interrupted them had said he was there on business, that's when Raven panicked. The reporter said it looked like a professional hit.

_Did I just sit at the same table with a hitman and not even realize it?_


	2. Chapter 2

"Raven?" Peter demanded, switching the phone to his other ear.

"Peter? It's 3 in the morning," Raven moaned, her voice thick with sleep.

"That guy who showed up tonight-who was he?" Peter asked, ignoring her drowsy voice.

He heard her let out a long sigh on the other end of the line before she responded.

"His name is Wade, he's the most unstable person I know, and I'm sorry he reigned down his full one-man mental circus on you. But seriously we both know that night wasn't all peaches even before Wade announced himself." Raven's voice was dripping in sarcasm, some of the sleepiness in her voice disintegrating.

"He said he was on business. That's when we left. Coincidentally, that's also about the time someone died. Correction, someone was _killed._" Peter was on the verge of outrage, but the other end of the phone was silent. For a moment, he thought she had hung up on him, until he heard her sigh again.

"Peter, trust me: you don't want to waltz down that minefield. Get some sleep, you'll feel better in the morning," Raven said, almost sympathetically, before hanging up.

Peter threw his phone on the bed, followed by the rest of him.

The next morning began later than Peter would have hoped, but he knew exactly what he was doing today. He was finding Deadpool.

'_It can't be that hard to find a 6 foot 5 crazy man walking around in a red bodysuit killing people,_' Peter thought as he began to web search for anything he could find on his new target.

Fortunately for Peter, his target wasn't exactly subtle. At anything.

After two hours of combing through hundreds of internet chat rooms and message boards, Peter was fully informed on what he was dealing with.

"This guy is actually insane," Peter muttered to himself, getting up and grabbing his phone, which had been ringing incessantly for the past half hour.

"Damn it," Peter sighed, throwing the phone back onto his bed after seeing Raven's number.

_Time to do this._

* * *

Peter waited for nightfall before setting out. Aunt May would be at the hospital all night, and he liked the ambiance to be honest. He suited up in his _much cooler_ red bodysuit and swished his way passed a few 'Deadpool hotspots'; aka, an adult movie store, an arcade, and five different taco stands, before finally spotting him on a rooftop just above taco stand number six.

"Hey gigantor, I've got some questions for you," Peter called out, webbing the Taco out of Deadpool's hand.

To Peter's surprise, Deadpool let out a blood curdling scream and dropped to his knees next to the broken taco.

"I'm talking to you, pal" Peter said, looking down in confusion.

"What kind of monster are you?" Deadpool demanded, not looking up from his destroyed dinner. "You shall be avenged, my beloved," he continued, his voice dropping into a sinister whisper.

"Wow, not all of your elevators go up, do they?" Peter muttered.

"_Spiderman?!"_ the mercenary gasped after finally looking up. "I always knew you had to be a major dickhead in real life."

"Yeah? I crushed a taco shell. You kill people for money. I think I'm still winning the morality game," Peter retorted.

"Alright, Mr. Fancy Panties, you got me. Now, do me a favor, spare me the 'killing people is naughty' speech, and just scurry off back to your web," Wade said, standing up and pulling the edge of his mask down, but not before Peter noticed his skin seemed to be horrifically scarred.

"I don't think so, creep. See, you've been put on my list of personal vendettas, so I'm ending your freak show tonight."

"Really? You want to fight _me?_ What are you, like, a buck twenty, on a good day? No way, Spidey. I don't hit girls." Deadpool let out a small chuckle, right before Peter threw a line of web right onto his chest and slammed him into the wall.

"Um, I'm gunna go with _OWIE,_" Deadpool yelped, standing up. "Alright, my turn." Deadpool reached for his gun and fired straight for Peter.

Before Peter could retaliate, his spider senses went haywire causing him to turn around-just in time to take a right hook.

"Raven?" Peter exclaimed, disoriented

"Listen here you little sh-wait, what? How the hell does _Spiderman_ know my name?" Raven demanded, trying not to sound startled.

_Son of a bitch, _Peter thought, stepping away from her. _She's going to find out._

"He's probably seen your pornos," Deadpool cackled. Then, "I'm kind of in the middle of something here, Raves."

"How do you know me?" Raven asked again, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I-uh. You work somewhere I've been a few times," Peter muttered, stumbling around the roof.

Peter was just about to shoot off the roof when he felt his mask being ripped off his face from behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

At that moment, even Deadpool was in silent shock, for a second at least.

"Holy shit, Raven! You totes had a date with spiderman!" Deadpool exclaimed, breaking the silence.

Peter just stood there like a deer caught in the headlights, staring at Raven, who looked just as frightened and unnerved.

"Peter," Raven blurted out, still staring intently into Peter's eyes.

"This...is not good," Peter muttered, trying to regain his composure.

Wade walked right up into Peter's face and stared intently before pulling Peter into his chest.

"It's okay widdle webslinger, I forgive you. We can be besties forever now," Wade announced, keeping Peter's head on his chest.

"Get off me, freak!" Peter yelped, pushing himself away finally.

"Wade, boundaries! Peter, be nice!" Raven snapped, the level of exasperation in her voice making her sound like a parent used to scolding her kids.

"Nice?!" Peter asked, incredulous. "Raven, you know he kills people, right? And you're okay with that?" His tone grew more scandalized with every word.

Raven shot a glance of annoyance towards Wade before looking back to Peter.

"I know. That's exactly why, when you called me, I told you to stay out of it. I honestly thought you could get hurt. I see now I should be more worried for Wade, honestly." She grabbed Peter's mask from Wade and handed it back to Peter, shaking her head.

"Raven, babes, I can take care of myself!" Wade protested loudly.

"That's not what it looked like when I got here," she retaliated, gesturing to the blood dripping out of Wade's mask.

"Why _are_ you here, anyways?" Peter asked, easing up slightly.

"She came to punish me for interrupting your date. And not the good punishing! The 'I'm going to bore you to death' lecturing type punishment," Wade complained.

"I was coming here to talk to Wade, because I haven't actually seen him in a few months before last night, and I wanted to talk to him about the deal he closed last night," Raven explained, rubbing the hand she had used to punch Peter.

"By deal, you mean 'person he killed,' right?" Peter's voice gained hostility again.

"Oh, Mr. Moral Compass rides again!" Deadpool whined, making galloping motions.

"You didn't answer my question," Peter said, ignoring him as he looked at Raven. "You're okay with him killing people?"

For once, Peter saw something he hadn't seen in Raven. Vulnerability.

"Wade, who was it you killed last night?" Raven asked, turning to Wade.

Wade took a deep, dramatic breath before answering. "First class scum of the earth. I was hired by a prostitute. He's been her client for almost two years, and aside from beating the shit out of her continuously, he also takes more than he pays for. Aside from that, he's married, with a little boy I have strong reason for believing he was diddling on the side. He was the kind of rat that not even other rats would play with."

"Yes, I am okay with Wade killing people," Raven said, turning back to Peter, her gaze fierce and her words dripping with conviction, "because I know every single one of the people he's killed has had it coming for a long time."

Peter ran his hand through his hair, contemplating the last ten minutes. He never would have dreamt this would ever be happening to him.

"We know!" Deadpool exclaimed proudly. "I'll buy everyone drinks," he continued giving Peter a slap on the back.


End file.
